A New Blog

I have given it a great deal of thought and decided to start a new blog. I dearly love this old one; I’ve had it since 2008. But I feel I have outgrown it and its time to have something a bit more professional. I have no intention of closing this old blog down, but I don’t plan to update this one any more. If you want to hear more about my literary journey, my new blog is where you'll find me.

So, without further ado, here is my new Wordpress blog. 

Writing is Hard

I’m sure some of you have seen this meme bouncing around the internet. And it’s true: writing is hard. But publication is harder.

I’ve recently had another story accepted for publication. I was on the verge of tearing my hair out, fretting that I would never be published again. You never know, really. Writing/Publishing is a subjective business. What works for one magazine or publication won’t work for another. I’ve had editors tell me that they really liked and enjoyed my stories, but that they just didn’t cut the mustard. They loved it, but they weren’t “in love” with it. It’s not personal; it’s never personal. Yet we always take it personally.

I should know by now that there is no exact time frame for submission to acceptance/publication. My latest story was written back in September of 2016 and was only accepted in March of 2017. I had to do a revision on it too. Though it was good, it needed polishing. Many stories do. Take it as a sign of encouragement if an editor responds and asks you for a rewrite. They are investing their time in you and giving you a second chance. It’s a complement, really.

One story I wrote, “Saving Grace” was originally written way back in 2013 and didn’t appear in print until 2015. That’s two years.

“A Grave Discovery,” my little murder mystery, had been written in October of 2015 and was accepted by New Zenith Magazine in June 2016. Eight months and I was just about to throw in the towel. Sadly, that magazine has since ceased publication. (I am determined to get this one published again though.)

“An Agoraphobic in Europe,” was written in September of 2015 and wasn’t published until over a year later.

Another interesting fact: 90% of what I write, I write with one publication in mind. However, rarely does that publication ever accept or publish what I have written. I can’t tell you how many times I have submitted stories to Guideposts, Highlights, Chicken Soup for the Soul, and Reader’s Digest, only to have my stories accepted elsewhere.

Manic obsession and perseverance is the only real advice I can give about writing or publication. You receive twenty rejections for a story, submit it again. Submission twenty-one could be it. Don’t take “no” for an answer.

Until next time!

The Plunge

God help me, but I did it. I started the querying process on my Great Depression novel. I had procrastinated for months, using one excuse after another. That it wasn’t ready, or the subject matter was too taboo, or that the prose was crappy. All of which may still be true, but how will I know that for a fact if I don’t test the waters? I had to start somewhere. Some literary agents give feedback when they reject a project, so one of them may help me without realizing it.

I’ve been in this boat before, so I know the routine. You send off your query letter and- depending on the agent – a proposal and then you have to wait for a response. Sometimes it is a couple of hours, a couple of days, or a couple of weeks to hear back. Others never reply. I think the record for longest wait was about eight months, which by that time I had forgotten that I had even contacted them. Then there are a few agents who have rejected me twice. As if getting one rejection from said agent wasn’t enough, they decided to send that rejection to me again.

I’ve certainly made my share of mistakes in the querying process. I’ve mistaken a man for a woman; misspelled a last name; got the date wrong; forgot to attach the proposal; used the wrong words; misread the guidelines…Been there, done that. I’d like to think I’ve learned from my mistakes, but no one is perfect. Inevitably I will embarrass myself. I’m sure if I am ever land a literary agent, I’ll continue to do silly things. It’s just the way I am. After all, nobody’s perfect.

Well, I’m curious to see what will happen. In the meantime I’ve written a number of short stories that need to be sent off too, and have many others in the works.

Until next time. 

(BTW- Its my 250th post! Whoopee!)

New Zenith's First Issue is Available!

A quick note to let you all know that the magazine who published my, "A Grave Discovery," is available! So for those interested in purchasing it, click here!

Rejection

Rejection just plain sucks. No matter who you are, putting yourself out there is hard, and then to hear, “No, not interested” can be heart wrenching.

Rejection plays a big factor in the pursuit of a literary career. You pour your heart and soul into a story or a novel; perhaps you’ve spent years on it, perfecting every detail. You know it’s good; you know you have something special. You’re certain of it. You’re not mistaken; this time it will work out. You know you shouldn’t view your creation as your baby, but you do. In a sense you gave birth to it, nurtured it, groomed it, coddled it and now it is time to send it out into the world, for it to spread its wings.

You jump through all of the hoops, pay special attention to the guidelines, whisper a prayer and you send it off. You send it to multiple places. You try to distract yourself with a new project, because that’s what a writer does. They write. The second you finish one story, you start on another. There is no “The End” for us. But that’s fine, because it’s all part of the process.

Weeks pass, maybe even months. You haven’t heard a peep out of the literary agent or the publisher. You check your e-mail every five seconds and you stalk their twitter feeds and blogs. One part of you fears that the submission never reached them, that it was lost in cyberspace. The other part of you holds out hope that perhaps they haven’t read your submission. Or they have and they are so mesmerized, so in awe of your masterpiece. Hope springs within you.

And then an e-mail is delivered. Either it says “No, not interested” or “Thank you for sending ------- but we do not feel enthusiastic enough to represent your novel. Best wishes, etc.” Authors must bend over backwards to pique the interest of a literary agent or a publisher, but the professionals can get by with form rejections.

It’s tempting to throw in the towel, especially after you’ve received a couple hundred of these. But at this point, can you quit? Can you stop creating? This Magnificent Obsession has become so ingrained into who you are. You don’t know where it ends and you begin. If you quit now, you would be denying part of who you are.

So tomorrow, get up and try again. 

Femnista Has Moved!

The magazine I write for, Femnista, has moved! You can read the articles at https://femnista.wordpress.com/. You now have the ability to search the website and read through the archive of old articles. Check it out.

If you are interested in reading any of my older pieces, click here.

10 Ways to Seduce a Writer

The Write Process

A few weeks back I was asked what my writing process was. How I went about writing my novels. I became tongue-tied and couldn’t articulate a good response. Any other writers out there have that problem? Being able to write a decent piece of prose but sounding like a babbling idiot when you talk?

Every writer has a method to their madness. Some are seat of their pants writers. They sit down at the keyboard and just write whatever. I used to do that when I was younger… it was not an effective process for me. Plots would change on a whim, dialogue took forever and often sounded cheesy, and the lack of planning showed up in the story. The quality was poor. If I don’t have an idea of where I need to start or where I am going, then I had better stop before I get in too deep.

Finding a certain subject can be tricky. I’ve had my share of false starts. These are the stories that just fizzle out after the first few chapters and you know it’s better to forget about what you’ve written and start on something else. Usually my subjects of choice find me. For an example, my current WIP is set during the Great Depression in Indiana. It is probably no coincidence that I focused on Indiana so near its bicentennial. It must have been on my mind. Also, the past, history, my grandparents are often in my thoughts. My grandparents lived during the Great Depression, so it is only natural that at some point in my life I write about Hoosiers and my state. It was the Deep Calling Unto the Deep.

I usually write a detailed synopsis of an idea and then on notebook paper I write outlines of the scenes and dialog that will end up in the story. I put all of these notes on the computer and then go over them twenty or thirty times, trying to improve upon it. I separate the scenes into chapters and go from there. That’s when the real writing begins.

It takes me two or three months to write a very crappy first draft (and believe me, all first drafts are crappy). But then again, I’m a slow writer, averaging at 1000 to 1500 words (if I am very lucky) a day. My mind is only good enough to write twice a day, after lunch and in the evening. Otherwise my brain turns to mush.

If I can give any advice to any other writers out there, here it is: don’t write formula fiction. It’s a waste of time. I’ve tried it, just to get my foot in the door. Unless you have your heart is in your project, then there is no point. Better to write something you are truly passionate about than waste what talent you do have on subpar stories. Also, do not limit yourself to one story. I made the huge mistake of devoting myself to one novel for several years, and nothing came of it. Be sure to have a Plan B. And then a Plan C. And after that a Plan D. That is my two cents’ worth, take it for what it is. 

Now What?

Okay, so, I’ve completed another draft on the Great Depression novel. It was a small one; just some minor suggestions that my sister gave me. This is quite possibly the longest thing I have ever written. Maybe too long… not quite sure about that. It’s not ready for an agent to look at. This WIP needs a few more drafts, at least. Polishing, mostly. Of course I’m at a loss as to what to do with it now. Fleshing out, character development, back stories, historical facts- that is never my problem. It’s cutting the unnecessary scenes and whatnot. I never know what is not needed.

Once upon a time, I belonged to a writer’s workshop…for senior citizens. I was an honorary senior citizen at twelve years old. It was a family affair, really. My aunt led the group and she invited me to join, then my grandmother started to attend. One time a cousin of ours visited. I think my Mom and sister sat in on one of the meetings. It was great; I learned a lot from the women and men there. Some of the stories they told inspired this novel (they were part of the Greatest Generation). Now, my sister and a friend of mine reads my various projects and they offer great critiques. For the most part I’m skittish about showing anyone my WIP’s. I worry that they’ll think I’m odd or strange or nuts for writing this or that. Or worse, they may not like it at all and like many writers, I take criticism personally.

But with the Great Depression story, I want to show my friends and family and get their feedback. Perhaps because many of them inspired this story too. They had a hand in it without knowing it. Still, it’s frightening to be so public about a project of mine, because there is always that underlying fear that the agents and/or the publishers won’t want it. Then I’ll be embarrassed for talking up this story.

Sometimes being a writer just plain sucks.

“I hate writing, I love having written.” Dorothy Parker. 

Deep Calls to the Deep

When Truman Capote invited Harper Lee to help him investigate it the murders of a family in Kansas, Lee described her interest by saying, “It was deep calling to deep.” From what I understand, there are a variety of meanings, one of which can mean the calling out of oneself. Sort of an unquenchable yearning. Whenever I hear this phrase I think of home… no matter where I go or how far I wander, for me there is no place like home.

With that being said, it only takes so long before an aspiring writer writes something about her home state. From 2010 to 2013 I attempted it, to write nice little Christian historical romances based in Indiana. It was a nice try and looking back I can see why it didn’t work. Those stories were based in Indiana and entertaining, but there was no realism. The characters were one dimensional and the set up was too silly for words. After that, I tried to write a couple other things, only managing to get short stories published.

But now the deep calls to the deep again… Indiana demands to be written about. These days, the novels out there based in Indiana are a laugh. The characters sound more like they are from Texas than our beloved Hoosier state.

I was lucky; I come from a family of natural-born story tellers. Both sets of my grandparents were part of the Greatest Generation. My one grandma was very open about her life, very detailed too.

So, for my two-or-so readers out there, this is what my new EPIC NOVEL is about: The Great Depression. Indiana. Prohibition. Marriage of convenience. Loss of a child.

More later. Thanks for reading.

Don’t Get Around Much Anymore

Don't you just love this song?

Yeah, I’m still here. The last month and a half has been crazy busy that I’ve slacked off from this blog. Sorry about that. I know you all are just on pins and needles about my life.

Let’s see…early October I went to the Emmaus Walk, which for those who aren’t familiar with it, it is a Christian spiritual retreat. I’ll be honest; I went in there with a sour attitude. The last thing I wanted to do was cry, do group hugs, sing and dance, etc. You get the picture. Well, I ended up doing all that and more. I actually opened up about my personal struggles with anxiety and depression, which is something I never do. I figured that I’d have nothing in common the ladies because they would be the perfect Christians and I am horribly flawed. I ended up finding my soul sisters in Christ. I came out of Emmaus a stronger person. Since then I have been more vocal and have taken risks. When they say it is a life changing experience, they really mean it. I think every believer ought to try it.

I was home for a little bit and then spent a couple weeks with my cousins and aunts. That may sound simple to you, but believe me, it is nothing sort of a miracle. Because of my anxiety and depression, off and on for about ten years I was agoraphobic (had issues with leaving the house). That’s not to say that I don’t still have struggles; I don’t think an agoraphobic is ever really cured. Anyway, I had a lovely time visiting and catching up with loved ones. Meanwhile, our kitchen is being remodeled. It should be complete next week sometime.

Still writing. HIDDEN PLACES (got a fan page for it on FB, though haven’t done much with it) is plugging along. Had to rewrite the ending. Currently working on a Regency Romance, so that has kept me entertained. And I am having two more short stories published next year: one on my beloved Basset Gracie Belle and the other on anxiety attacks. If anyone can write about anxiety attacks, it is yours truly. I am an expert on the subject. Well, at least my experiences can be fodder for my writings. More on those later. 

Oh, and awesome news: “Miracles and Moments ofGrace: Inspiring Stories of Survival,” has gone through its first edition!!! So, please check it out! Thanks all.

Until next time, lovelies. 

Still Around

Yeah, I’m still lurking around the web. I’ve just been too busy to update or do any creative posts. My poor little blog has been neglected. Between babysitting, doing projects around the house, learning how to drive and writing, I haven’t had the time to give this blog the attention its due.

Yes, I did say driving. That probably sounds strange to most of you, considering you know I am in my later 20’s. Most people learn in their teens. What can I say? I am a late bloomer. Well, that’s not exactly true. If you knew me ten years ago, you would understand why. My nerves and anxiety was so bad that I could barely leave the house. I still have far to go in regards to driving; its hard teaching this old dog new tricks.

Been juggling three (sometimes four) different writing projects: My YA WIP (and its sequel); a historical romantic novella; and another historical romance. Then I am currently plotting out a future story that I hope to start next year. These ideas come like shooting stars, bright and beautiful; but I have to get them down before they die out on me. Sometimes I get enthusiastic about a certain prospective idea, only to lose interest later on.

I have sent out forty-some-odd queries for my YA WIP. No nibbles, really…until yesterday. One agent requested to see the full manuscript. I imagine it will be rejected, but hey, I may get some feedback. Which is what I’m really looking for. I fear the ending might be a stumbling block. There might be too much of a cliff-hanger. If that’s the case, I know what needs to be done to fix it. But I guess I hope that the agent(s) will like it as it is. (LOL!) Anyway, at least I know my query letter is good.

Can’t think of much else to report. Well, I am involved in this reading program at my local library. I am to read a book a week (which is a cinch) and am entered into a weekly drawing. Fun. 

Quotes on Writing

Whoever said that writing was easy clearly never wrote anything worthwhile. Whenever I get low about my lack of success, I remember that the greats weren’t always great. They too papered their walls with rejection slips. Check out the quotes below, said by those who lived, breathed and dreamt writing! So have a laugh and know that you are in good company.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”- Maya Angelou

“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.”- Robert Benchley

“Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it.”- Truman Capote

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”- Ernest Hemingway

“Fiction is the truth inside the lie.”- Stephen King

“Any writer worth his salt writes to please himself...It's a self-exploratory operation that is endless. An exorcism of not necessarily his demon, but of his divine discontent.”- Harper Lee

“If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”- Toni Morrison

"People without hope do not write novels. Writing a novel is a terrible experience, during which the hair often falls out and the teeth decay. I'm always highly irritated by people who imply that writing fiction is an escape from reality. It is a plunge into reality and it's very shocking to the system."- Flannery O'Connor

“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout with some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.”- George Orwell

“I hate writing, I love having written.”- Dorothy Parker

“Writers are made, not born. To be exact, writers are self-made.” - Ayn Rand

“A blank piece of paper is God’s way of telling us how hard it is to be God.”- Sidney Sheldon

“Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.”- Elie Wiesel

Old Stories

Isn't funny how when you look back to something you written long ago and all you can do is shake your head? You writers out there know what I mean.

Recently I’ve been nosing around the internet and found some fan fiction that I submitted to a fan site called “Anya’s Journey” for the movie “Anastasia.” It’s an animated romantic comedy loosely (and I mean very loosely) based on the life of Anna Anderson. From 1999 to 2001, when I was thirteen to fifteen years old I authored many stories about Anya, Dimitri and their hypothetical offspring. In 2002 I got embarrassed and deleted all of my copies. Needless to say I never thought I would see them again and forgot about them for the most part. Until now. With all that’s happened this last year, I’ve thought a lot about the past.

Anyway, I’ve been able to salvage some of these dinky little stories. And they are awful. I shudder, wondering how I could have let myself write such things. It’s not the fact that its fan fiction. Some fan fiction can be pretty good and enjoyable. But what I wrote was just plain silly. Aside from that, I’m glad to have them back and compare them to my current works.

Looking back I miss the innocence of that time in my life. Naturally I was a brat and thought I had it hard and now all I can do is daydream about those days.

Untitled Post

The last month has been a whirlwind. We got through Thanksgiving pretty well. Our aunties came to share the holiday with us. The five of us went to the graveyard to pay one last visit to Dad and Aunt Della before next spring, and to see their new monuments. Very nice and in some ways an eye opener. Seeing my Dad’s name on a headstone seems unnatural. At times his absence is very real to me and other times not so much. So we have Christmas, a birthday and New Year’s to get through and then we’ll be in the clear until Easter and then will come the first anniversary of his death. The holidays are always the hardest, especially at the very first. I have to admit, I was dreading Thanksgiving and it went better than I expected. So I have that to be grateful for.

With the help of an anxiety/depression program and a new exercise routine, I am doing quite a bit better. Still have a ways to go, but I think I’m on the right track. It helps that my sister is doing this too; keeps me dedicated.

Sent off around sixty some queries to the agents. Most have yet to respond, though a couple have requested to see the full manuscript. One agent in particular seems right for the story and she has had my novel for over a month. I want to ask how she likes it but am too afraid that she’ll reject it then and there. In the meantime I am polishing my WIP #2, which is even better than the first. I have more confidence in it than this current one. Hopefully it will be whipped into shape by the first of the year. Trying to get going on a third project. Do I start on another story based in this little town? I do have plans for one, but it is not appealing to me just yet, Believe it or not I am reworking my old Epic Novel that I set aside almost three years ago. I don’t know why, but the characters are speaking to me again. The tone is very different, so much so I’ll have to change the title if I go to send it off. It will be interesting to see what happens with that. Most of the research is already done and most of it is still floating around in my memory. So, we’ll see what happens.

The little Shih-Tzu we adopted has made himself at home. Checkers is a total stinkpot, eager to tease and start fights. We call him the “Little Hobbit” because he is so naughty. He has easily worked his way into our hearts. 

So Are The Days of My Life

I’ve been so busy it’s not funny. We’ve had work done around our house; new garage built, windows replaced, doors installed, back porch enclosed, trees taken out and parts of our fence torn down. The guys are super nice and I have nothing but praise for them, but we’ll be glad when things go back to normal around here.

My anxiety attacks/depression have made a return. It’s not easy because for about four years I felt pretty good. Not perfect but I made a lot of headway in that part of my life. And now I’m starting all over again. I’m taking a new medicine so hopefully in a few months I’ll feel better. The doctors always say it takes a couple of months to get regulated, but for me it generally takes a bit longer.

The agent I was corresponding with about WIP #1 decided not to represent me after all, so that’s set me back quite a bit anxiety-wise. I had really believed that my life was falling into place and now it’s all topsy-turvy again. What irks me is that for five months I remained loyal and followed all of her instructions. In August I started to suspect that something was up because I hadn’t heard much from her and asked her if she was still interested in my novel. Yes, she was but for her to represent me I had to wait until she made contacts at the AFCW conference. If I had another other offers, she encouraged me to go ahead with them. But since we had an agreement, and I consider myself a woman of my word, I assured her that I could wait. Fast-forward to last week. The conference was over so I e-mail her asking how it went and she responded that she was sorry but did not think herself right for my novel because she wasn’t as familiar with the Christian market.

So, I’m back at square one and down in the dumps. I am trying to prepare myself for the endless querying that I must get started on. At least the story has changed enough that it may appeal to other agents. It flows better. When I’m feeling better, I will resume my work on WIP #2 which only needs some polishing. I am actually more confident that this story will be accepted. It is a bit more unique and dynamic.

We’re going to have a new addition to our family. My Mom heard of a puppy mill that PETA is closing down and thought we could take in one of the dogs and give it a home. The dog is a male Shi-Tzu named Checkers who is in need of love. I was hesitant at first, because we already have two dogs and two cats. But maybe we need Checkers as much as he needs us. Our family needs healing and maybe he will be our bright spot of this year.

Yada, yada, yada

Can’t help but think of where I was eleven years ago today. Nothing about that period in my life is the same. But then nothing about our whole world is the same. Everything seems to be turned upside down and inside out. I keep waiting for the world to right itself, but it continues on its destructive path. I guess until we all surrender to the One who can make everything right this is how life will be.

Not sure what to write, but just want to write and post something. With all that’s happened this year, my anxiety problems have returned. I had really started to become comfortable in my own skin, if that makes any sense. I switched medicines and so I have had to re-learn everything. How to calm myself down again and to relax if possible, and to go places even when I feel like crap. That’s not easy when I feel loopy. Ah, the joy of anxiety attacks.

In the last couple months, this gray striped cat has hung around our house. We called him “Gilbert” and fed and watered him. He seemed content, then he disappeared. We feared that he had been hit by a car or that someone else had taken him in. He showed up again after a three week absence (we think he was catting around) and one morning brought a little friend with him. The little friend couldn’t have been more than six weeks old; a cute yellow-striped tabby kitten. We named him Rumpelstiltskin, Baby Rumpel for short. The poor thing had worms and an upper respiratory infection, but we got him some anti-biotics and were doctoring him. We made the mistake of letting him outside and a neighbor grabbed on to him. Knowing good and well that we were caring for Baby Rumpel, she took him to the vet and had him put to sleep. Naturally we were devastated and infuriated. Thankfully we were able to spare Gilbert from the same fate. After learning that he was healthy and had been neutered, we tried making him part of our family. That didn’t quite work out because we already had two cats and he wanted to dominate them. We weren’t sure what to do, but a co-worker of my Mom’s heard that Gil needed a good home and offered to take him in. So, we’re all very relieved about that.

Still, I have a lot of anger (maybe even hatred) for what this neighbor did. She has done other things, smaller things to us. There was a time that we were friends, but that was long ago. If she hates us, fine, whatever. But to take a poor, innocent little kitten and put it down just to spite us…it’s going to take an act of God for me to forgive this woman. I don’t claim to be perfect; maybe we did do something to offend her or hurt her in the past. But, really, euthanizing a defenseless kitten as a means of revenge? God give me strength! Hatred is a sin, I know. This is just something I will have to work on, I guess.

I haven’t been writing too much the last few weeks. I did a little last week on WIP #2 and ought to resume my work on it. I’m also doing research for WIP #3. I did hear a piece of news though that is exciting for me. I had submitted a short story for this book that is to be published next year called, “I Believe in Healing.” Well, it has been chosen to be included in the book. So, yay! I’ll finally be published. 

Day by Day

That’s how we’re taking it, day by day. I think with all of the craziness going on around here has been a little helpful. It is exhausting but it certainly keeps us distracted. Just when we think that we can’t take one more blow, somehow we’re able to hold it together. Others have it harder than we do. Everywhere I turn someone is in some kind of pain or going through some sort of difficulty.

Still writing like crazy. Nothing new to report on that score though. Just keeping my fingers crossed.

Trying to diet again. Yes, yet again. I need to lose maybe 30lbs. When I dieted in 2010, 22lbs came off in six months’ time. It didn’t last though, obviously. Maybe this fall I can start exercising again. For someone like me who battles anxiety attacks and depression, it is good to exercise. Finding the time though, is nearly impossible. Guess eventually I’ll just have to make time.

I’m a little late to jump on the “Once Upon a Time” bandwagon, but better late than never, right? I watched a little of last season and tuned in when my favorite Disney princesses showed up. Unfortunately I had missed my favorite heroine, Belle. When her episode premiered, our DVR went kaput. I did see the season finale when she showed up at Mr. Gold’s shop and was a little confused when they confessed their feelings for each other. Last I recalled Belle’s guy was Beast. Just this last week, I was able to watch episode 12 “Skin Deep” and all I can say is OH. MY. GOSH! Loved it! Rumplestillskin was always a hilarious character, but I just totally fell in love with him. It’s hard to remember that he’s a bad guy. Then I saw some scenes with him and his son and my heart went out to him. I have to keep reminding myself that this is not real and is just a TV show.

Now I am on a “Beauty and the Beast” kick. Sean and I dug out our old VHS tape of “Beauty and the Beast” and re-watched it. Still love it. Next we’re going to watch this new teeny-bopper movie called, “Beastly.” If it’s any good, I may even read the book.

Daydream Believer

Remember that song, by the Monkees? Whenever I hear it, I want to cry. When I was a girl, seven or so years old, I remember sitting out on our front porch and listening to it. It reminds me of my youth. As a kid I couldn’t wait to be an adult and now not a day goes by that I don’t day dream about being a kid.

Since I last wrote, my sister had gallbladder surgery and then six weeks after my Dad died, my aunt passed away. It’s a crazy, mixed up time for us. None of it seems real and I at times I really believe that someday everything will be the way it was. All that I can ask from anyone right now is prayer. Especially for my mother. It has hit her the hardest. It was her husband who died, and her baby sister she lost. If we didn’t have faith in Christ and the promise of Heaven, we’d be lost right now. In many ways we are lost, but we know that we’ll find our way again and that it won’t always be hard for us.

I don’t know much else to say. I have been writing; manically almost. Whether it’s much good or not, time will tell. I have tried my hand at shorter pieces and have submitted them to various places. Maybe this sounds crass, but it’s to make a bit of a name for myself and earn a little money. I need to do something.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. God bless and love to you all!

As Time Goes By

The last month has slipped by so quickly. I feel like I have lived in limbo since the couple days of April. We all have really. And yet April 28^th (the last day Dad was alive) seems like years ago. Mom, Sean and I have drawn closer, but the family is incomplete now. We don’t laugh as hard as we did before or enjoy the moments. Nothing makes sense. If I didn’t have faith I’d be a lost cause. Last Saturday we saw his grave for the first time since his funeral. My mind cannot fathom that my Dad is buried there. This seems wrong to me. My Aunt told us all something that has stayed with me. My Grandma was 15 years old when she lost her Daddy and she never really got over it. I totally understand. She had it harder than I do though. She was only a kid and it was during the Great Depression. But I get it, why she never got over it. Her Daddy was only 44 when he died whereas mine was 60. Still, I don’t think anyone is ever prepared to lose their parents, no matter how old they are. Grandma was braver than I am. She probably confided in her brother and sisters, but she never felt sorry for herself and never burdened anyone. My only hope is that I can live up to the example that she left me. If she survived all of that, somehow we will too.

Just when we think things might settle down a little bit, something else happens. My sister Sean has been in traction for the last month. She’s been having stomach problems for a while now and since we lost Dad, it has increasingly gotten worse. The doctor did some tests and learned that her gall bladder is not functioning at a normal rate. She is to have it out tomorrow. Sean is looking forward to it because it has given her nothing but misery for two years now. I can’t wait to see her back to her old self.

In regards to my writing: The Harper Lee article I wrote for the May/June issue of Femnista is now available at charitysplace.com. I wrote an article for the July/August issue about “The Wizard of Oz,” book and movie. I still have one article for the September/October issue that I haven’t even started on. Very excited because it is to be about someone I admire very much: Sophie Scholl. Can’t wait. I never did get around to submitting a story in for the Writer’s Digest Contest. I found another contest that would suit the story better so I may try to submit it there. We’ll see. It needs some tweaking here and there. Also there is a story I am working on for Chicken Soup for the Soul book. Not sure if it will be accepted. Time will tell. In the mean time I am revising WIP #1. An agent asked for it exclusively for the next three months. So psyched about this that it almost seems too good to be true. I’m afraid that I’ll wake up and all of it will disappear.

Again, thank you to you all who have been praying for us. I so appreciate it. Love to you all! God Bless!