Dear Agent

Dear Agent,

This is not a query nor is it directed to any literary representative in particular. This is to all agents in general, from an unpublished and un-agented author.

I have queried again and again, on various projects. At times you are encouraging; at other times you are downright insulting. Sometimes you are enthusiastic about my projects, to the point that I begin to think I am on the right path. Then I receive that e-mail, the one that says, “I enjoyed reading --------, it’s a lovely story but…” And then you give whatever reason that you deem suitable for your rejection. On the whole it is not even reason, it is that you don’t think we will be a good fit. Or that you are not in love with my story. But couldn’t you tell it wasn’t a good fit or that you weren’t falling “in love” with it after the first fifty pages? Why then request the whole manuscript? And then keep me waiting for a whole month?

And please, after I send you a query that I have spent days constructing, please do not reply “No thanks” and end the e-mail there. I know you’re busy, but it’s insulting and dismissive. If I must be professional, then you ought to be too.  Send me one of those “form rejections.” They are far more preferable than a two word rejection.

You say not to take it personally and maybe I shouldn’t. But guess what? I do. My novels are my beloved children. And like any obsessed mother, I will do whatever in my power to see them blossom. By taking it personally, it only increases my determination to write something truly spectacular.

You may think that I am just another wannabe writer and nothing I will ever write will ever measure up. But someday, I will show you and the rest of the world what I am capable of.

Just you wait.

Sincerely,

The Authoress

“Iscariot,” by Tosca Lee

Author:

Tosca Lee is the NY Times bestselling author of the critically acclaimed DEMON: A MEMOIR, HAVAH: THE STORY OF EVE, and the Books of Mortals series with NY Times bestseller Ted Dekker: FORBIDDEN, MORTAL and SOVEREIGN (Spring, 2013). ISCARIOT, her highly-anticipated novel of Judas, the infamous betrayer of Christ, releases February 2013.

Tosca received her B.A. in English and International Relations from Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts. She also studied at Oxford University. In her spare time, Tosca enjoys adventure travel and makes her home in the Midwest. Check out her website.

Book Description:

Based on extensive research into the life and times of Judas Iscariot, this triumph of fiction storytelling by the author of Havah: The Story of Eve revisits one of biblical history’s most maligned figures and brings the world he inhabited vividly to life.

In Jesus, Judas believes he has found the One—the promised Messiah and future king of the Jews, destined to overthrow Roman rule. Galvanized, he joins the Nazarene’s followers, ready to enact the change he has waited for all his life. But soon Judas’s vision of a nation free from Rome is crushed by the inexplicable actions of the Nazarene himself, who will not bow to social or religious convention—who seems, in the end, to even turn against his own people. At last, Judas must confront the fact that the master he loves is not the liberator he hoped for, but a man bent on a drastically different agenda.

Iscariot is the story of Judas, from his tumultuous childhood to his emergence as the man known to the world as the betrayer of Jesus. But even more, it is a singular and surprising view into the life of Jesus that forces us to reexamine everything we thought we knew about the most famous—and infamous—religious icons in history.

My Thoughts:

My Rating: 5 stars.

After reading Lee’s “Havah” and “Demon” I was ecstatic to hear that she was doing the story of Judas Iscariot. Unlike most historical authors, she actually does research and her characters are three dimensional. While we are all familiar with the Biblical account of Judas, this novel puts a humanistic face on him rather than writing him off as the incarnation of the devil. As the story unfolds, you begin to sympathize with him and understand that at that point in Jewish history, they were expecting a conquering king to free them from Roman oppression. Though Jesus stirred up some trouble, He didn’t fit the mold (at times He still doesn’t fit the mold people expect of Him). One point the author makes throughout the book, is what we would have done if we were in Judas’ position? I guarantee that you’ll walk away from “Iscariot” with a different perspective on the most maligned figure in the Bible.

Blah, Blah, Blah

My Dad’s uncle Bill died last Friday. If you’re reading this, I am asking you to remember Uncle Bill’s family in your prayers. He was a great man and will be sorely missed by all. It seems like wherever I look, friends and family alike are suffering through something. Loss of a loved one, sickness, unemployment… I know that this is part of life. I am just eager for life to settle down again.

I finished the first draft of WIP #3 in a month’s time. That is a record for me. Usually it takes up to three months for me to complete a first draft. This first draft is much shorter, approximately 43000 words. And I’m sure it’s crappy, as most first drafts are. Going to let it set for a couple weeks and do some research, then I’ll pick it up again and work on draft 2.

Sort of in limbo with WIP #1 and #2. WIP #1 was rejected by nearly every agent under the sun. For the heck of it I entered it into a contest for self-publishing (Crossway Books, a Division of B&H). What do you know, it is one of the 30 semi-finalists. Want to wait to hear the results from that before I do anything to WIP #2. I did query six agents about it and haven’t heard anything back. Then I stopped. Do you ever get a Still Small Voice tell you not to do something? I don’t pretend to hear God’s Voice, but for whatever reason, I feel like He is telling me not to query. And to wait for Him to provide the right agent for me. None of that makes sense to me. Logically the thing for a writer with a manuscript to do is to send it off.

“God’s foolishness is so much wiser than our wisdom.” So said Corrie ten Boom.

So I am going to try and wait on Him, though it makes no sense to me. Tell me if I’m talking crazy or if I’m procrastinating. One thing is for sure, I’m not in a place where I can receive another 150 rejections. I need to wait a bit and build up my personal resolve before I try anything. 

Old Stories

Isn't funny how when you look back to something you written long ago and all you can do is shake your head? You writers out there know what I mean.

Recently I’ve been nosing around the internet and found some fan fiction that I submitted to a fan site called “Anya’s Journey” for the movie “Anastasia.” It’s an animated romantic comedy loosely (and I mean very loosely) based on the life of Anna Anderson. From 1999 to 2001, when I was thirteen to fifteen years old I authored many stories about Anya, Dimitri and their hypothetical offspring. In 2002 I got embarrassed and deleted all of my copies. Needless to say I never thought I would see them again and forgot about them for the most part. Until now. With all that’s happened this last year, I’ve thought a lot about the past.

Anyway, I’ve been able to salvage some of these dinky little stories. And they are awful. I shudder, wondering how I could have let myself write such things. It’s not the fact that its fan fiction. Some fan fiction can be pretty good and enjoyable. But what I wrote was just plain silly. Aside from that, I’m glad to have them back and compare them to my current works.

Looking back I miss the innocence of that time in my life. Naturally I was a brat and thought I had it hard and now all I can do is daydream about those days.

Dare Questions

Fun Spiritual Questions to Answer!

What do you consider your first spiritual experience to be?

I remember being three or four years old and standing in the kitchen thinking about the Holy Trinity and I understood the three-in-one concept.

I was raised in church and automatically thought I was a Christian/saved. Then I went to a religious ceremony for my Dad's cousin. He was entering into the Capuchin Brotherhood. The Holy Spirit was very present there and I felt like I had to get out of there ASAP. That was the first time I ever felt God's Presence and it scared me to death.

What is the most religious thing you’ve ever worn in public?

Probably a cross or a witness T-shirt.

What is the kindest act you’ve ever done for someone?

Unfortunately, I can’t think of anything right now.

What is your favorite story from the Gospel or a religious movie?

I've always liked the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000. That one where He was resurrected is pretty good too. :~)

Favorite religious movie:

I consider the movie "Bella" a religious movie. It isn't blatant but rather more subtle. It always cheers me up.

Have you ever prayed with someone from a different religion?

I don't think so.

Have you ever prayed in a public place?

I have prayed over people and in a women's group, but never in front of a crowd.

Have you ever participated in a religious service other than your own?

Yes. I have attended a Messianic church a couple of times and loved it. It’s one of the few places that I felt God's Presence.

Have you ever gone outside your spiritual comfort zone in order to move closer to God?

Yes, but it’s been awhile.

Are you in a good relationship with God right now?

Not sure. The last year has been really hard and in some ways I feel closer to Him. But I also feel bitter towards Him and am trying to work through that.

What do think God’s wish is for you?

I think He wishes for me to trust in Him completely, no matter what the circumstance is.

Whose desires come first in your life: yours or God's?

Probably my own. I know God's desires should be first, but I get wrapped up in my own petty concerns that I forget about Him and what He wants.

Do you struggle with selfishness? What helps you overcome this?

See prior answer. What helps me to overcome this? Having to dedicate myself to someone else.

Do you struggle with false or empty relationships that distract you from your relationship with God? What relationships help you stay close to God?

I don't see myself having empty relationships. All of them are important and none of them really distract me from God. The people in my life encourage me to stay in tune with Christ.

When you pray, what is your image of God? What do you think of?

My Grandpa was an artist and he did a chalk drawing of Christ and it is that image that comes to mind most of all when I pray.

What is on your “spiritual bucket list?”

Lead someone to Christ.

Go on a mission’s trip.

Do something extraordinary that changes the world for the better.

Odds and Ends

First new blog entry of 2013. The last month and a half has been too crazy for a proper blog update.

Christmas was a bit rough. We were all down sick and the pressure of the holidays put a strain on us. I’m just glad that the 2012 is now over. There were a couple of bright spots: reconciling with family, having a new animal baby addition to the family and finding a new church. But for the most part it was terrible.

Have been under the weather for the last month. Caught some kind of bug and just haven’t been able to throw it off. I went to the doctors and the labs came back saying the rheumatoid test was high and the cbc test was abnormal. I’m going back later this week for another blood test to see if there is any change. So ready to feel better again.

Well, after 150 some queries to the agents, and mixed responses from all, I’m going to have to set aside WIP #1 for now.  Just don’t have the gumption to revise it right now. Maybe in a couple of months. Placing my focus on WIP #2. Hope to high heavens this one works out. It’s different in tone and theme and I am far more passionate about it. Scared though. Well, it will be a couple of months before I send off queries for it. Got to polish it and get my nerve up. Am now focusing most of my attention on my new version of what was once Epic Novel, which is now WIP #3. It’s completely different from before and connected from anything else I have written. Which is for the best.

Going to try and write some short pieces. The one non-fiction story about my healing is to be included in the upcoming book “I Believe in Healing,” by Regal publishers. I received $50.00 for it and retain the copyright, so maybe I can submit it to Guideposts or something later this year. We’ll see.

All for now.

Untitled Post

The last month has been a whirlwind. We got through Thanksgiving pretty well. Our aunties came to share the holiday with us. The five of us went to the graveyard to pay one last visit to Dad and Aunt Della before next spring, and to see their new monuments. Very nice and in some ways an eye opener. Seeing my Dad’s name on a headstone seems unnatural. At times his absence is very real to me and other times not so much. So we have Christmas, a birthday and New Year’s to get through and then we’ll be in the clear until Easter and then will come the first anniversary of his death. The holidays are always the hardest, especially at the very first. I have to admit, I was dreading Thanksgiving and it went better than I expected. So I have that to be grateful for.

With the help of an anxiety/depression program and a new exercise routine, I am doing quite a bit better. Still have a ways to go, but I think I’m on the right track. It helps that my sister is doing this too; keeps me dedicated.

Sent off around sixty some queries to the agents. Most have yet to respond, though a couple have requested to see the full manuscript. One agent in particular seems right for the story and she has had my novel for over a month. I want to ask how she likes it but am too afraid that she’ll reject it then and there. In the meantime I am polishing my WIP #2, which is even better than the first. I have more confidence in it than this current one. Hopefully it will be whipped into shape by the first of the year. Trying to get going on a third project. Do I start on another story based in this little town? I do have plans for one, but it is not appealing to me just yet, Believe it or not I am reworking my old Epic Novel that I set aside almost three years ago. I don’t know why, but the characters are speaking to me again. The tone is very different, so much so I’ll have to change the title if I go to send it off. It will be interesting to see what happens with that. Most of the research is already done and most of it is still floating around in my memory. So, we’ll see what happens.

The little Shih-Tzu we adopted has made himself at home. Checkers is a total stinkpot, eager to tease and start fights. We call him the “Little Hobbit” because he is so naughty. He has easily worked his way into our hearts.