My Strange Addiction

My hands tremor, my eyes bulge and are bloodshot. I stagger about, desperate for another fix. I scrounge through all of my stashes, become irritable because they are gone and I lash out at those I love most. I must bide my time before I can go get my drug of choice and I begin to convulse as I go through withdrawal. My eyes cross and I grit my teeth. Foam puffs out of my mouth. People ask if I have rabies.

I must endure this… just a little longer.

Yes, it’s true. Even we Christians fall prey to temptations and get wrapped up in dirty, foul sins. For years I lived in denial and refused to admit that I had a problem. I would make promises, vows and sacred oaths that I would never, ever do it again. I could go a couple weeks without it but inevitably I would break down. It would begin with snitching here and there and escalade to full-blown consumption.

Ah, I am again at peace. Yes, I indulged. I can’t deny it; the warm fuzzy feeling I get chases away all evidence of my previous agitations. As a Christian, I must be open and honest about my shortcomings. Please, do not judge me. We all have crosses that we must bear.

Now is the moment of truth. Here is MY STRANGE ADDITICTION.

Pray for me, oh, please pray for me!

My Diary from September 11th and 12th, 2001

The following diary excerpts were written in my actual diary on September 11th and September 12th of 2001, when I was fourteen years old. Being homeschooled, I was writing about a few of the events as it transpired, therefore some of the information is incorrect. Individuals mentioned have had their names changed to protect their privacy but my very poor spelling has been retained. Also, the entries are written to Ana, which is what I named my diary at the time (as inspired from Anne Frank).

~*~
10:02am
9-11-2001
Dear Ana,
Two planes flew into the World Trade Center at 8:45am + 9:00. The World Trade Center collapsed not long ago. And a different plane flew into the Pentagon. Violence is everywhere! Is this the end times? Is Jesus coming back? Is there going to be war?
Dad is in Indianapolis. He is alright, so far.

Lord Help US! We need YOU!

More Later…

6:22pm
“We will not tolerate this!” That is what was said by several people. 4 planes were hijacked today. 50,000 people died. Our president was very angry. He is smarter than we give him credit for.
Will there be war? This is the second Pearl Harbor. Mom says this one is worse though. Tradgity is always horrible. I no longer feel safe. Will we be here tomorrow?
I haven’t been online all day. So I have no idea how my friends are. I pray they are all right. At 10:00 or 11:00pm I plan to go online and check everything out. I am going to be very busy.
At 7:30pm President Bush will announce what will happen next. So I might be able to write to you about what he says.
Just to think yesterday I had no worries, but now I am worried. Our lives were at steak 8:45am this morning. Thank you, Lord, you kept us safe.
And to think [Aunt] Stella is using this [an excuse] to stay with [her boyfriend] Henry. She claims that there are riots all over Terre Haute. If there are riots in this town, then I am Barbie Doll! And I am definitly not Barbie.

More Later…

10:23pm
Bush did not answer any of my questions. Why is this happening to us? We are America. I thought WW2 was the war to end all wars. But it seems more and more are happening. But why did this happen again? Didn’t we learn from Pearl Harbor? Bush knew. We were threatened by that Bin-Ladin guy.
Will we ever be safe again? Is this what people felt when Pearl Harbor was bombed? Will there be war? Will there be peace? What will happen tomorrow? God knows. And all my trust is with him.


9-12-2001
Dear Ana,
War. That’s what everyone is worried about. Kelsey, my internet friend, is worried all of her friends will be drafted. Its very patriotic of them to enlist. Is this WW3? I am almost certain that the Rapture is near. I just don’t feel it will happen now. I could be wrong.
Is this how Grandma felt [during Pearl Harbor]? I’m not as brave or smart as she is. How did she handle this? Well, first off she was several years older than I am. She was 23 and I am only 14½.
We’ll be all right. God will protect us. And if the Tribulation is near, then we will go to heaven.
I’ll never forget where I was when I first heard. I just got down watching “A Different World” and got up for something. Mom changed the channel and it had “Breaking News” on the screen. I saw the second plane crash into the building…
But I’ll never forget all that has happened.

140 Days of Prayer with Charles Stanley

The best way to rescue America is to get on your knees and pray for God's intervention. Even if you don't want to commit officially, at the very least keep this country in your prayers. God is America's only hope.

http://www.intouch.org/resources/140-days-of-prayer

Prayer For a Young Girl: PRAISE!!!

Okay, for those who have been praying, God has answered! I'm a little foggy on the details, but Marissa had gone to the doctors and he was the one who advised her to return to the hospital. But she only stayed there for a couple of days and went home on Thanksgiving. And she was able to come to church this morning! So that is a HUGE praise.

As for Jo- I saw her this morning and she updated us herself. She did have her nose cauterized and was given some iron pills to take. She looked bright and beautiful as usual.

Hopefully things will return to normal for this family.

Prayer For a Young Girl: Update

Marissa had improved a great deal and even went home before the doctors had predicted. Unfortunately on Tuesday she had some kind of relapse and is back in the hospital. Please, please, please keep her and her family in your prayers! Yesterday was her birthday and today is Thanksgiving, and her younger sister is having her birthday in a few days. They're being bombarded.

Also, remember her grandmother Jo. Jo is in her mid-eighties and was having awful nosebleeds that sent her to the ER. She was supposed to have her nose cauterized (sp?) but I haven't heard anything more about her.

Thanks and God Bless.

Prayer Request for a Young Girl

Hi, there is this girl at my church named Marissa who is ill with double-pneumonia. She's only 11 or 12 and she'll be in the hospital the next few weeks, over her birthday and Thanksgiving. If you could keep her in your thoughts and prayers, I know she and her family would appreciate it.

This is the time of the year when God performs the most amazing miracles (He has in my life) and I know He will do it again in this young girl.

No one ever made it to Heaven by...

watching a sunset and acknowledging that God created it.

praying or reading the Bible.

attending church or being baptised.

being good or doing good works.

or admitting that there is a Higher Power.



"That if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with you heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."- Romans 10:9-10

Saint Theresa's Prayer!

In case you are not aware, Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways, meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love.

Remember to make a wish before you read the prayer. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. Just share this with people and see what happens on the fourth day.


"May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be confident knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us."

When Its Hot, It’s Hot!

Whew! Summer may have officially arrived a few days ago, but here in Indiana it already feels like the dog days of summer. We don’t have air conditioning and have to make do with screens in our windows and fans. It doesn’t bother me so much unless I’ve worked hard outside and need a reprieve. The nights can be stifling as well, but other than that it isn’t too unbearable.

We have a garden too. Of course a lot of folks have been planting gardens this year, titling them “Recession Gardens.” It’s sort of a throw back to WWII when families planted Victory Gardens in their flowerbeds to save money and to “win the war!” I’ve discovered something, I like working in our garden and I’m actually good at it. Whenever I finish with it for the day, I feel a sense of accomplishment. When Dad said it was too hot to work outside today, I felt disappointed.

Mom is still looking for a job. There are job openings at Kroger’s, K-Mart, Fashion Bug and clerical position at a local hospital. As for Dad, that job at the local high school didn’t pan out. However a couple teachers might be retiring this year so we’re in prayer that something might work out.

Our church is doing better and it doesn’t look like it’s going to close. People were just taking for granted God’s hard work and needed a wake up call. I actually, I needed one too. Often enough I forget to pray for my church and the minister, his wife and all the other elders and deacons.

Right now I’m editing my series and am now working on the third book. There’s a lot to add and revise in this one, but not as much as I’ll have to do until I start revising the fourth. I’m finding that information in post-WWII Poland is scarce. Most of the non-fiction books out there deal with the political aspect rather than the every day life of the average Joe, which is what I need.

When it Rains, It Pours

Ain’t that the truth! To begin with, a few weeks ago my Mom learns that as of Sept 30th, 2009, she will no longer have a job at the local university. It’s difficult not to have hard feelings over this because the reason she was laid-off has nothing to do with financial difficulties; it was over a personal vendetta. Mom was/is so devoted to her work, she gives her all and to see her treated this way more than hurts. There is a silver lining to this though, she’s no longer have to endure their grief. And it’s more than likely that Dad will be working full time at a high school. You know the old saying: when God closes a door, He opens a window.

My Dad’s cousin went in for surgery corroded artery and had a negative reaction to it. She had to be sedated and put on a ventilator. She’s puffy and her blood pressure and potassium levels were hinky but now seem to be improving. Yesterday she opened her eyes, was responsive to her sister and family, and could answer some questions. Any prayers you could offer her would be appreciated. Not only for healing but for peace of mind. She’s kind of a Nervous Nellie when it comes to things like this.

Saturday, June 6th was D-day, you know; the 65th anniversary of the Allied invasion of Normandy and Nazi occupied Europe. That day is always important to us because so many of our relatives served in WWII and were involved with it (particularly our Grandpa). His younger brother Allen went over on D-day plus 3 (June 9, 1944). Anyway, Uncle Allen died on Saturday, at age 87. He was such a sweetheart; he was the type who brightened the whole room just by walking in. Our Grandpa died when we were young, and it wasn’t like Uncle Allen took his place. But he was always kind and supportive of us. He’d patiently answer our questions about WWII, the past, family history and never displayed any jealousy or annoyance whatsoever when we’d bring up our Grandpa or brag on him. He was proud of his older brother and helped fill in a lot of gaps that we had about Grandpa’s military career. Uncle Allen will be missed by all, but he’s so much more content where he is now than where he was. He was in and out of the nursing home for the last year and was completely miserable there. That long with the fact that his sweetheart, Alice, no longer recognized him (she has dementia) broke his heart. But there’s no doubt in my mind that Uncle Allen is completely whole; he was always vocal about his faith in Christ. I can easily imagine him walking down a street of gold, chatting with his older brother and sister, maybe even eating a banana. (He loved bananas.)

And for the last bit of news- I got a call from Mom. The church board members met yesterday after we were dismissed and discussed finances. According to Mom, it was decided that if tithing doesn’t improve, our church will close… BY THE END OF THIS MONTH!!! Not to brag, but we tithe out 10% regularly so our conscience is clean. However, so many others don’t. This really bites. Because of the selfishness of others we all must suffer. Okay, I shouldn’t judge, but it hurts. Spring Creek just celebrated its 20th anniversary a few months ago. Please, please, please pray that God will move on the hearts of the congregation to give. Please, I’m begging you! I don’t know what I’ll do if this church closes; I’ve grown more spiritually here than at any other church I’ve attended. I know God’s Will be done in the end, but sometimes that’s a hard pill to swallow.

If you’re interested to learn more about our church, please click here.

Top Ten Predictions For 2009

1. The Bible will still have all the answers.

2. Prayer will still work.

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still inhabit the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-annointed preaching.

6. There will still be singing of praise to God.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. There will still be room at the Cross.

9. Jesus will still love you.

10. Jesus will still save the lost.

God whispers in your soul and speaks to your mind. Sometimes when you don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at you. It's your choice:

Listen to the whisper, or wait for the brick.