Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Yada, yada, yada

Can’t help but think of where I was eleven years ago today. Nothing about that period in my life is the same. But then nothing about our whole world is the same. Everything seems to be turned upside down and inside out. I keep waiting for the world to right itself, but it continues on its destructive path. I guess until we all surrender to the One who can make everything right this is how life will be.

Not sure what to write, but just want to write and post something. With all that’s happened this year, my anxiety problems have returned. I had really started to become comfortable in my own skin, if that makes any sense. I switched medicines and so I have had to re-learn everything. How to calm myself down again and to relax if possible, and to go places even when I feel like crap. That’s not easy when I feel loopy. Ah, the joy of anxiety attacks.

In the last couple months, this gray striped cat has hung around our house. We called him “Gilbert” and fed and watered him. He seemed content, then he disappeared. We feared that he had been hit by a car or that someone else had taken him in. He showed up again after a three week absence (we think he was catting around) and one morning brought a little friend with him. The little friend couldn’t have been more than six weeks old; a cute yellow-striped tabby kitten. We named him Rumpelstiltskin, Baby Rumpel for short. The poor thing had worms and an upper respiratory infection, but we got him some anti-biotics and were doctoring him. We made the mistake of letting him outside and a neighbor grabbed on to him. Knowing good and well that we were caring for Baby Rumpel, she took him to the vet and had him put to sleep. Naturally we were devastated and infuriated. Thankfully we were able to spare Gilbert from the same fate. After learning that he was healthy and had been neutered, we tried making him part of our family. That didn’t quite work out because we already had two cats and he wanted to dominate them. We weren’t sure what to do, but a co-worker of my Mom’s heard that Gil needed a good home and offered to take him in. So, we’re all very relieved about that.

Still, I have a lot of anger (maybe even hatred) for what this neighbor did. She has done other things, smaller things to us. There was a time that we were friends, but that was long ago. If she hates us, fine, whatever. But to take a poor, innocent little kitten and put it down just to spite us…it’s going to take an act of God for me to forgive this woman. I don’t claim to be perfect; maybe we did do something to offend her or hurt her in the past. But, really, euthanizing a defenseless kitten as a means of revenge? God give me strength! Hatred is a sin, I know. This is just something I will have to work on, I guess.

I haven’t been writing too much the last few weeks. I did a little last week on WIP #2 and ought to resume my work on it. I’m also doing research for WIP #3. I did hear a piece of news though that is exciting for me. I had submitted a short story for this book that is to be published next year called, “I Believe in Healing.” Well, it has been chosen to be included in the book. So, yay! I’ll finally be published. 


  1. What I have to say about your neighbor is inappropriate, so I won't share it here. That sucks.

    Congratulations on your short story! =)

  2. I don't think I can ever forgive the neighbor. I've been feeling the mix of grief and hate.

    I know one day you'll feel better. I know it's easy for me to say, but you did it before and I know you're such a strong woman that you can do this again!