The
last month has slipped by so quickly. I feel like I have lived in limbo since
the couple days of April. We all have really. And yet April 28th
(the last day Dad was alive) seems like years ago. Mom, Sean and I have drawn
closer, but the family is incomplete now. We don’t laugh as hard as we did
before or enjoy the moments. Nothing makes sense. If I didn’t have faith I’d be
a lost cause. Last Saturday we saw his grave for the first time since his
funeral. My mind cannot fathom that my Dad is buried there. This seems wrong to
me. My Aunt told us all something that has stayed with me. My Grandma was 15
years old when she lost her Daddy and she never really got over it. I totally
understand. She had it harder than I do though. She was only a kid and it was
during the Great Depression. But I get it, why she never got over it. Her Daddy
was only 44 when he died whereas mine was 60. Still, I don’t think anyone is
ever prepared to lose their parents, no matter how old they are. Grandma was
braver than I am. She probably confided in her brother and sisters, but she
never felt sorry for herself and never burdened anyone. My only hope is that I
can live up to the example that she left me. If she survived all of that,
somehow we will too.
Just
when we think things might settle down a little bit, something else happens. My
sister Sean has been in traction for the last month. She’s been having stomach
problems for a while now and since we lost Dad, it has increasingly gotten
worse. The doctor did some tests and learned that her gall bladder is not
functioning at a normal rate. She is to have it out tomorrow. Sean is looking
forward to it because it has given her nothing but misery for two years now. I
can’t wait to see her back to her old self.
In
regards to my writing: The Harper Lee article I wrote for the May/June issue of
Femnista is now available at charitysplace.com. I wrote an article for the
July/August issue about “The Wizard of Oz,” book and movie. I still have one
article for the September/October issue that I haven’t even started on. Very
excited because it is to be about someone I admire very much: Sophie Scholl.
Can’t wait. I never did get around to submitting a story in for the Writer’s
Digest Contest. I found another contest that would suit the story better so I
may try to submit it there. We’ll see. It needs some tweaking here and there.
Also there is a story I am working on for Chicken Soup for the Soul book. Not
sure if it will be accepted. Time will tell. In the mean time I am revising WIP
#1. An agent asked for it exclusively for the next three months. So psyched
about this that it almost seems too good to be true. I’m afraid that I’ll wake
up and all of it will disappear.
Again,
thank you to you all who have been praying for us. I so appreciate it. Love to
you all! God Bless!
I'm not going to lie and say you will ever get over losing your dad -- you won't. But I promise, it WILL get easier. At least you have the assurance of knowing where he is, and that you will see him again.
ReplyDeleteWhen my grandma died last summer, I cried at her funeral. But it wasn't just tears of parting, it was also happiness that she could now be in heaven, with her husband she lost 20 years earlier, devoid of the anxiety that crippled her for so many years, no longer old, and half deaf, and with failing eyesight.
You're trying to sell a book? AWESOME!! I wish you all the best luck!
I have lost both parents in this last year and totally get where you are coming from.
ReplyDeleteDo not be dismayed. Sometimes you have to 'go through the motions' and pretend like life is okay. If you do that, then I found that Life backfills, God works, and restoration will come
Our family is incomplete now because Dad was our center. He was the head of the household and not that old way to it, but that he was just everything to us. It doesn't seem real and I'm not sure that it ever will. I wish there was something I could do to help you and mom at this time.
ReplyDeleteAs for your article, fantastic! You've got an amazing talent and now the world is seeing all of what God gave you. You're blowing them away!